your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize