Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize