Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we're making bets on your personal life
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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