I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
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I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
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I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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