no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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