So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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