And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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