Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
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. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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