wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize