East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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