i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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