She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize