i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize