I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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