the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize