What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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