Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize