life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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