did you get engaged???
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
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He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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