i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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