I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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