So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize