Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize