oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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