Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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