I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize