At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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