How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
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you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
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I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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