Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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