I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
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me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
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FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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