i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize