I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize