You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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