They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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