standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
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I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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