Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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