my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The best revenge is premature balding
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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