I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize