I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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