Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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