she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize