I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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