Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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