My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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