I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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