I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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