i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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