They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize