Just fell off a train. Bad.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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