dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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